spherevitaen | [LOG] In Time, All Good Things

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[LOG] In Time, All Good Things

CHARACTERS: Shiraz, Nausicaa, maybe others?
WHEN: 7QJ75 / SD 797. Late in the year. December?
WHERE: Quentão, Aquavitae
SUMMARY: Almost a year after Nausy's and Marc's arrival to Quentão, Shiraz decides it's time to have a heart to heart talk.
WARNINGS: Emotional ows?

Shiraz lingered in the doorway while Nausy settled Marc down for his afternoon nap, watching the young boy with an unfiltered affection. During the course of the year, she and the redhead had butted heads a number of times, but Marc always helped the Bonded feline feel more settled. The boy had won her easily with unreserved affection, and that had gone a long way in the slow but eventual thaw of Shiraz toward his mother as well.

Now, nearly a year after their arrival, Shiraz and Nausy had reached a fairly level field, and the feline hoped very much that the conversation she was about to attempt -- one she'd debated with herself about having for weeks -- wouldn't put them back on unwelcome terrain.

"Nyaa~" she said as Nausy came out of Marc's bedroom. "Can I talk to you?"

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"If it didn't matter then I wouldn't ask," Shiraz sniffed haughtily, folding her arms rigidly over her chest, an almost unconscious opposite of Nausy's body language. At the redhead's statement that Paris was taken however, both her tone and her stance softened a little.

"He isn't," she sighed. "He just made that stupid promise, because he's an idiot."

Nausy blinked, turning her head to look at Shiraz in confusion. “You and him aren’t...?”

She really was confused. When she first came to Quentão, she’d thought they were married. Then Paris explained that they were Bonded, but that didn’t really clear things up much for her, since they continued to exhibit a level of intimacy that she found unusual. So she’d continued to assume that they were at least more than friends. But, to her surprise, whenever she’d attempt to flirt with him (she couldn’t help it, like she’d said he was very good-looking), he would actually flirt back. And then Shiraz would throw a jealous fit. Or so it had appeared to her.

Nausy could hardly be blamed for her confusion in that part, since Paris and Shiraz slept together, shared a bed... simply in the literal definition of the word, rather than the intimate sense. For the first five years of her life Shiraz had enjoyed curling up in Paris' arms, falling asleep to the sensation of him stroking her fur.

And after she'd fought to attain a human form, hoping that would bring them even closer together, the calmest and happiest that Shiraz felt was simply falling asleep next to him. Oh, they had experimented as they'd grown up of course, although it had never gotten very serious. It had been sweet and awkward, but memorable nonetheless. With their move to Quentão, her behaviour had simply gotten more pronounced, and it must have been especially noticeable to Nausy, who'd never really seen Shiraz stay in feline form for any length of time. Behaviors that would have seemed so normal had she been in her natural shape must have seemed overtly sensual by human standards, even when they weren't meant that way.

And Paris had made that stupid, stupid promise: not to be with anyone else, because Shiraz had been afraid of being replaced. At the time it had been an incredible comfort to the Bonded, and she had loved him all the more for it, but she had finally seen what Vita had seen... that it wasn't realistic and it wasn't good for him. So she had tried to swallow her instinctive reactions to keep Paris to herself and just see what was in front of her.

Having Nausicaa here, watching Paris grow more and more fond of her, and watching him with Marc as well, Shiraz had then had what was no less than a life-changing revelation: she didn't feel any less loved for it. She didn't feel at all like Paris had been pulling away from her. He was still hers, and she was still his in a way that no one else could touch... but that maybe, maybe, was possible to share.

"We're not mates," she said, and there was an finality in the way she said it.

Mates. It was an interesting word choice, and it reminded Nausy of what she’d known all along but had trouble wrapping her head around: that Shiraz was a cat, albeit she had a very beautiful human form. She recalled how, when she’d first arrived, Shiraz’s first reaction was that she and Marc didn’t smell right, and during their first breakfast together, Shiraz had practically crawled into Paris’ lap.

She winced inwardly at how silly she’d been. Of course Quentão (and Aquavitae in general) was strange to her, but now she realized, belatedly, that she hadn’t been as open-minded and accepting of her new world as she should’ve really been. Old habits died hard, she supposed, especially if you’re a stubborn Glyphian, and she had been the one in the family who’d tried to fit into their society the most. Her father, though a true nobleman and a loyal soldier to the kingdom, was far from being Airyglyph’s poster child; he had ideas, “modern” ones, that didn’t go well with the snobs at the capital. Her mother, on the other hand, was the daughter of a disowned noblewoman and a merchant from the neighboring kingdom, and scandals had followed her ever since she was adopted by her uncle and brought into Airyglyph. For being a woman who could fight, and fight well. For being a nobody, then suddenly being married to the second most powerful man in the kingdom. For the sense of otherworldlyness about her that they couldn’t quite place. Her brother defied societal expectations and moved halfway across the country to get away from the politics and drama. Her sister moved to Aquaria - and they’ve been at war with their neighbor all thoroughout history - to study their magical arts, then married a local and became an Aquarian citizen.

But Nausy? She enlisted in Airyglyph’s elite division of the military and climbed up the ranks, then later on dated the King and climbed up the throne. Of course many Glyphians hated her, some simply because she was a Nox, but that didn’t stop her from fighting to prove her worth, to be accepted.

She would have to let go of that. Among many other things.

If Shiraz expected the redhead to sigh in relief at her declaration that she and Paris weren’t mates, she didn’t. Instead Nausy’s sigh was heavy, like the truth had further complicated the situation she was in.

After a while, she said, “But you said there was a promise.” Though the other woman said it was a stupid one, it was still a promise.

It was indeed not the reaction Shiraz had been anticipating, if she would have thought to guess at any of the possibilities. She thought about it for a moment, then realized that they were unconsciously facing off in the way their body language was, and sat down on one of the smooth marble benches that lined the walkway.

"When Vita asked Paris to become the Cajuzinho," she began, letting Nausy decide whether to join her in sitting or choose not to. "I was very afraid. I didn't want him to do it. I knew that the world was getting more and more broken, and I-- I cared, about that. Just not as much as about my family."

It had taken her years to fully include Jing and Cassis in that statement, and even longer for Kir. Shiraz had unfortunately grown up thinking that everyone, no matter how benign, was a threat to Paris' affection for her, even if the logical part of her mind knew it wasn't true.

"After we got to Quentão, I thought... the whole world knows about him now. Someone would come and try to take him away, or to stay and," Shiraz looked away for a moment, out over the waterfall. "Replace me, somehow. I was so jealous whenever I thought he was looking at human women," she admitted. "I didn't even really know why, nyaa. I even bit one of them."

She does, at least, look terrible embarrassed by that admission. "But Paris understood. So he promised that he wouldn't have anyone here at Quentão who would make me feel that way. He wouldn't--" Her gaze dropped. "Be interested in anyone as a partner."

Nausy’s gaze quietly followed Shiraz as she sat down on one of the benches, but the redhead decided to remain standing for the time being, closing her eyes as she listened to the feline recount the story of Paris’ stupid promise.

When she finished, Nausy opened her eyes again, and they glistened with unshed tears. For the first time, ever since coming to Quentão, she understood Shiraz. Had she been in the other’s shoes, she probably would’ve reacted in the same way (except maybe for the biting). And, strangely enough, she wanted to protect her, as she would a sister, from the fear and the pain of having to be alone. She did, after all, know a great deal about being alone.

She moved to sit beside Shiraz finally, and, although she’d hesitated for a moment, reached out to gently put a hand over one of the feline’s own. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “for ever making you feel that I’m here to replace you.”

Nausy's apology is unexpected, as is her emotional reaction, and it shows clearly in the way Shiraz is at a loss for words. It takes her a moment to respond, and it's prefaced with a quick shake of her head.

"Nyaa, you haven't though. I've been acting like a silly kitten, and reacting... in some ways you didn't deserve." Looking back, to what Nausy had seen as 'jealous fits', those were because the behaviour was familiar to Shiraz, not because it had stirred those particular emotions.

Was she entirely comfortable with Nausy being in Quentão? If she were being truthful, Shiraz would have to say no. There was still an element of her being here, especially because of the manner that she'd arrived in, brought by Vita... that unsettled the feline. That made her feel like she wasn't providing enough support to Paris-- even though again, the logical part of her knew otherwise.

She was a creature of heart, not mind.

But that still didn't mean it hadn't been terribly unfair to Nausy.

"I'm going to tell Paris... he doesn't need to keep that promise anymore," Shiraz said resolutely. And then... what would happen, would happen. At least he would be free to make his own choices from there on. She hadn't missed the way he and Nausy enjoyed their flirtatious banter with one another.

Nausy had thought there’d been times when she’d been treated unfairly, but she could no longer bring herself to fault Shiraz for any of it. It hadn’t been too bad, anyway - she’d been treated worse in her homeland, especially after she’d been thought a traitor - and the feline made up for her coldness toward her by her fondness for Marc.

But the redhead couldn’t help being surprised at Shiraz’s declaration, and she admired the other even more for it. It was terribly brave of her to make such a decision, and to open herself up in front of the woman who was a threat to the life she’d long enjoyed.

Nausy squeezed Shiraz’s hand, then set it back on her lap. After all that the other had told her today, she figured she owed her just as much.

“You asked me how I really feel about him,” she started to say, averting her eyes to the waterfall. Her expression was strangely sad. “I... I think I might be in love with him.”

The simple touch made the feline feel better, both for the contact and for the reassurance it provided. Still, to hear Nausy say it... she was a bit thrown for a moment. And then she realized that she wasn't actually that surprised. No one new Paris better than Shiraz did, after all.

"Nyaa... but do you want to be?" she asked.

At the question, Nausy closed her eyes. Shiraz had voiced out the very issue she’d been agonizing over. “I do. And... I don’t.”

She sighed, staring down at her hands. She’d decided to clasp them together, if only to prevent herself from clenching and unclenching them, a nervous gesture that often got painful quickly. “The last few years haven’t been easy for me, Shiraz. The war on my world... it destroyed my home, ruined my name, estranged me from my family, left Marc without a father. Then I came here, and Paris showed this lonely widow and her son nothing but kindness, even if their presence had been forced upon him and his family...” She had to smile. “Hard not to love that.”

Her gaze once more drifted to the waterfall, her expression turning distant. But there was a longing so profound on her face that was impossible to miss. “But he’s the Cajuzinho. He has a duty to the world, to Vita, to the people. The stuff of kings - and I should know. My late husband was one.” She glanced at Shiraz. “Between his longtime Bonded partner and a strange alien girl who’d just recently arrived, there’s no question who’s the better match. A king deserves no less.“

Nausy then hastily added, before she lost her nerve, “That, and, well, two other things. One, I don’t age. It’s a curse I’m afflicted with. I don’t get sick, and I heal fast. So unless the magick of my world is somehow neutralized by Vita’s powers, or I’m injured in a manner I can’t recover from, I’ll end up outliving Marc and everyone else. Two...”

She closed her eyes as she admitted, “I still love Arzei.” She stumbled a little at the name. “Marc’s father.”

That same kindness that Nausy was describing was what Shiraz cherished in Paris herself, so she understood very well.

The Bonded's smile was sad as well when the redhead said who would be a better match. "I'm not going to leave his side," she affirmed. "I will always be here for him. But that's not the kind of match that he will one day want."

Shiraz's eyes widened at Nausy's admittance of her curse, automatically glancing in the direction of Marc's room, as if the young boy might somehow have heard it. "I don't know much about magic, nyaa," she replied. Who had done such a thing to her? It seemed particularly cruel, and yet Vita had warned Paris of something similar that would eventually happen to him... but that was his place to share with Nausicaa, if he chose. "But that is something you should talk to Vita about."

She didn't really know what to think about the redhead's final statement, but after a moment, she did have something of a reply. "That makes sense," she said simply. "Marc feels like... he was made with love. He is special."

Nausy wasn't the least bit surprised when Shiraz said she wouldn't leave Paris' side. Before today, she would've thought the declaration strange, and the part of her that had feelings for him would've felt a definite pang of jealousy. But not anymore.

She reached out to squeeze the feline's hand again. "He wouldn't want it any other way, I think." But the gesture was also for herself; although she was doing rather well at keeping her emotions together, she needed to feel that she wasn't alone anymore.

Then Shiraz looked towards Marc's room, clearly worried for the little boy, and the ache in Nausy's heart turned into something more bearable. "I didn't need to think about it much before. I'd fled and gone into hiding with Marc, and I welcomed the advantage the curse gave me, because I needed to protect him from the world that hated me, and him by extension. And, well, also from those who would want to use him in their bid for power."

She shifted in her seat, turning a little more toward the Bonded. Tears glistened in her eyes again. "Oh, he is." Marc was the last good thing that had happened to her in Airyglyph, and a reminder of the best times of her life, when she had everything she could ever want. "Thank you, for looking out for him. I really appreciate it."

She, too, appreciated how Shiraz made it all sound so simple. She'd long thought of love in its ideal, romanticized form. She'd grown up watching her parents adore each other, relishing in the stories of how they'd overcome many odds just to be together. And it was the sort of love she'd searched for when she'd started dating, which ultimately led her to Arzei. She loved him, of course, but the whole star-crossed lovers part had definitely been alluring. Yet over the past months, as she found herself being drawn closer and closer to Paris...

Maybe it was possible to share.

"I don't know what will happen with you and Paris," Shiraz said quietly. "And neither of you know, nyaa."

She looked straight at Nausy, her voice becoming serious. "But I have one request that will seem easier to agree to with words than with what could come later... whatever you two decide, don't do anything that you cannot stay friends from."

Nausy had no idea what would happen, either. Even if Paris were truly interested in her... there were still too many variables. And too many risks. Perhaps, if she'd been younger, she wouldn't think twice about going after the guy, especially after the Shiraz's confirmation that they weren't together like that. But things were different now.

So at the Bonded's request, she was surprisingly quick to nod in agreement. "I can comply with that, at least." Her gaze turned distant. "I live for Marc, and my promise to Vita. My feelings are of little consequence."

Hearing Nausy say that was... unexpectedly saddening, somehow. Shiraz certainly had no children, but she could see that the woman loved her son with a strength that paralleled that of Bonded, just in different trappings.

"Maybe more consequence than you want to believe right now, when everything is confusing," she observed. "But at least we can all make our own decisions, right?"

The redhead nodded at the Bonded’s observation, smiling wryly. It was easy for her to say that, after all they were just words. But she, too, was more emotional than she’d like to admit. How else did Vita get her to agree to leave behind the world she’d called her home?

“That’s true.” She turned to Shiraz again. “Thank you. I... I actually needed this. You’re a good friend.” She smiled sheepishly. “Not just to Paris. To me, too.”

"Nyaa, well... I haven't been too good until now," Shiraz said, looking ruffled, and for a moment it was easy to picture that her fur would be fluffed up in feline form. "But everyone can change-- Papa Jing said that. I think maybe he's right."

Edited 2018-02-19 03:08 (UTC)

"You have been good to Marc," Nausy said quietly.

She lightly bumped her shoulder against Shiraz', smiling genuinely now. "And it's normal for sisters to not get along well all the time, so..."

It was a little presumptive of her, really, but she couldn't help herself.

Shiraz smiles a bit, because she has very much enjoyed Marc being in Quentão. The feline had always been the youngest, the smallest, the one in need of the most care. Even though she helped look after Cielo, it wasn't the same. Having the young boy around suddenly put Shiraz in the position to give care, rather than receive it, and that had made a big impact on her.

She starts a bit when Nausy casually refers to her as a sister, not knowing what to say at first.

"I guess you would know," she said eventually, ducking her head a little.

Nausy winced as she realized she'd misstepped again. She used to be good at this, the whole dealing with people; it was one of the things that actually made her a capable queen, in contrast to Arzei's more militaristic demeanor.

But she meant well. Shiraz had become some sort of a sister to her. She wondered, perhaps, if it was because the feline, in a way, reminded her of Fia - the littlest in the family who needed caring, the young girl who fought for the attention of the men Nausy had won over (their father and brother included) and who struggled to get away from the shadow the redhead had unintentionally cast over her...

"Sorry. It's just... the best word I could come up with, to describe how I feel about you." She smiled sheepishly.

Edited 2018-03-02 02:22 (UTC)

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[LOG] In Time, All Good Things

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